When you’re home with the kids… again
Many of you are young moms,
and both you & your husband have a heart
to serve & minister to your church &
community. Yet you often find that he’s
out doing something to improve the city,
or attending a church outing of some sort,
and you’re at home, caring for the kids…
again.
Thoughts & feelings can pop up that totally surprise you.
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I’ve been there. I’m still there. It’s often been the story of my life for almost 19 years.
When those feelings of, “I’m missing out,” and “Why is it never his turn to stay home?”
and other similar thoughts arise, here’s a few things I’ve used over the years.
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In random order:
1. Look your children in the eyes. This reminds me that I love them way more than
anything else.
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2. Jealousy is resentment, and resentment is a feeling of indignant displeasure or
persistent ill will. The last thing I want is “persistent ill will” toward anyone,
especially the one I love most. So I choose to refuse… refuse anger & jealousy.
I will NOT let myself think these thoughts. I’ll think about what is true, noble, gracious,
etc…
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3. Remember that my kids will be in my life always, but this event that I’m missing is
temporary.
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4. Have our own fun! Plan an outing of our own. When my husband is on a trip or
has a full week of “events,” I try to plan extra stuff like a zoo trip, library &
museum visits, McDonald’s ice-cream stops, special kid-meals (like Mac & Cheese
from a box), etc. This gives us something to look forward to, too, and more to talk
about… instead of “Oh, Dear, your day sounded fun; we just staayed home, as usual.”
That’s no good. Plan stuff.
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5. Make the ordinary into something memorable & special by changing it’s location.
Picnic under the picnic table, read books on the swing set, eat dessert first, use
sidewalk chalk on the tree branches (it washes off in the rain), etc.
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6. I remember that I’m first called to be God’s daughter, secondly my husband’s
wife and thirdly my children’s Mom. Serving my family is BEST job I can have.
Yes, my mom- tasks seem repetitive, but consistency grows strong, confident kids.
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7. I remember that my day will come when my “mommy-tasks” will be few cuz
my children are grown & then I’ll look back on these days (like all the mature
ladies in my life now do) and say, “Oh, those were such good times!”
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It’s easy to fill our heads with thoughts that make us resentful, frustrated
and just plain ticked-off & angry. But who will we believe?
I’m gunna listen to the truth. To Jesus. To His quiet assurance that my
behind-the-scenes” dedication is worth it!
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Take a breath.
Smile!
Go look at your babies in the face… and then just kiss’um!
(some time spent with photo booth isn’t bad, either!)
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I love love LOVE having a 2 year old now, because it’s easy to make simple things fun for him. Just tonight with Daddy out again, we went to the fun mall play place. So fun for him, and I relaxed on a bench with a book.
When I have the right attitude, I remember that my ministry at home is valuable, God ordained work assigned to me.
Awesome thoughts Netta. Thanks for your continual encouragement!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post, I needed it. With War Week going on this week and Andy all over the place getting students organized and attending events, it took me awhile to realize that I was serving this War Week by sending him off with a smile, staying at home while he took the car, and having fun with my little guy. Today I was really focusing on all the things I can’t do as the mom, when there’s so much I can do (especially with a little creativity)! Thanks for your honesty and fun ideas!
Number 3 is great! Well, they all are, but I hadn’t really thought of that & it helps a lot.
Just this week, Erin & I did number 4 (have your own fun) while our husbands were out late. Can we say last minute late-night outside-in-the-rain Sonic run w/4 kids under 5 (3 of which needed to go potty with no restroom around! Ha!)? We were laughing & having a great time.
Thank you for your honesty, & for reminding us that even though we have these thoughts & feelings, we can & need to take them captive & think about things that are true, lovely, etc.!
LOL!…just remembering that evening makes me laugh.
awe man! and Abby and I thought of Sonic AFTER we had already stopped @Wendy’s. BUMMER! Love you ladies! and your super cool kids!
Thanks Netta! This is all good stuff. I already can’t believe how fast time is going. Thanks for your wisdom.
Thank you so much for this!! It is just what I needed to hear and was such an encouragement to me!
Sooooooo good. On the heels of a lot of unexpected ministry stuff that kept him away last week and just as he is packing to go to General Council! Thanks again for your awesome encouragement and insight! (But hey, we get to work at our community VBS next week while he’s gone…yay!!!!)
I just love your heart sweet Netta!!! Praise Jesus for you!!!
Thank you, Netta! I am reading this post while at home with kids… and Troy is at an event
I keep reminding myself that this season is so short.